i'll be seeing you, van

my good friend, vanessa jeruta, passed away on march 12. she was only 23 years old.

it has been too long since i last hugged and talked to her. i miss her terribly....now, that feeling will never go away. i grieve, not only for the loss of a noble soul but for a life left unfinished. vanvan had a lot of dreams and she had been putting her life on hold; enduring a call center job she particularly did not enjoy, just to save for her future plans. big plans that won't be fulfilled anymore.

she was one of the most unselfish persons i knew. she loved helping others. she took on responsibility without a thought for herself. without her, i don't know how i would have kept my sanity during our last year at the Spectrum. she was, quite literally, my right hand. she was the one person i could never scream at because i knew she was the most hardworking among us. she would lie for me...but never lie to me. she was a confidante who listened to my woes and who never tired of telling me, "kaya ta ni talz."

in her diary she supposedly wrote that she knew she was dying but decided to keep it to herself. typical of vanvan. as one friend said, she remained brave and true to herself till the end. i just hope that on her last day she knew, that if she called i would've come running. i know that she would have done the same thing for me.

no goodbyes, jvans. thank you for everything and i love you. i'll be seeing you again.