grilled lemongrass chicken in sweet chili sauce and chocolate decadence

i spent my Valentine’s with my closest friends from the office. we found this cozy restaurant in Banilad where the food was great, the dessert was heavenly, and the service was excellent. I had grilled lemongrass chicken in sweet chili sauce for the main course and had chocolate decadence for dessert. mmmmm, it was orgasmic. better than sex. that was the highlight of my valentine's day.

or maybe i’m just bitter. my so-called boyfriend did not call or text me for valentine’s. i’m not really a romantic person but i’d like to know that i’m remembered on such “special” occasions. him forgetting or not making the effort to call me fuels my skepticism about love and all that shit. i mean, my friend Drew refused an invitation to dinner or whatever with his ex because he already promised to go out with us on valentine’s, now why can't a so-called boyfriend take the time to make the girl he calls the “love of his life” feel loved??? why can’t he be as thoughtful??? grrr…….

i’m just ranting i know. but it’s such a disappointment to have my cynical ideas about love and romance confirmed. i want this man i want to share my life to prove me wrong.

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my last song syndrome for today:

flying away by moony

I wake up
I wash my face and go
here’s another day, I'm sure
I'll fight for what I love
and my music keeps going on
my heart begins to beat
and my music keeps going on
it makes my life complete
I’m flying away, I'm flying away
I’m flying away, I'm flying away
It's the sound I cannot live without
as the rhytm goes, I’m sure
my soul will never pause
and my music keeps going on
it opens up my eyes
and my music keeps going on
'cause one day I was blind
I’m flying away, I'm flying away
I’m flying away, I'm flying away
I'm flying...
I'm flying away

valentine's

why is it that when a single woman is pushing 30, everyone around her is frantically pressuring her to settle down and get married?? i will turn 28 this year and i do not feel any compelling desire to settle down and be tied to one man for the rest of my life. not that i want to be alone but i just like the freedom that i'm enjoying for now. i don't want to be "owned" by anyone just yet.

however, though i always say i'm not in a rush to get married, i do admit i take pleasure in having a partner to share my life with. yep, there's someone special out there for me now. the operative words are "out there." he's so far away from me right now (as in the Middle East) that i sometimes don't really feel like i'm in a relationship. i guess you can call it a virtual relationship. it's like having a boyfriend in my mind. sometimes i wonder if i'm just imagining his existence even though i do talk to him on the phone. i do envision our future together but it still seems blurred to me. it was more concrete when he was just back home here with me. but then, people have to make sacrifices to make a living. i guess i can't complain about that specially when the sacrifice was made for me.

it's hard, putting your life on hold for one person when nothing is really certain. no matter how much i am constantly reassured, i still have my doubts. i don't know if it's a sign of immaturity or it's just how i'm made as a person. words are empty for me unless i see it become reality. no matter how many text messages and long reassurances i get over the phone, it doesn't compare to feeling and seeing the physical expression. the bond is just stronger that way.

call me lame, but i really just want my partner to be here WITH me. because there are times when you don't need to hear the words; when having him hold your hand or kiss your forehead is all that you need to keep you going.