desperately seeking the perfect man

seriously, is he really out there?

i just watched the perfect man. it was this chick flick about a teenage daughter (hilary duff) and her single mom (heather locklear) who was desperately looking for the perfect man. apparently, according to this movie, the perfect man is just out there waiting to find me. hah.

this is the perfect man for me:

basics first,
he must must have an IQ above 115
is heterosexual and is not even minutely confused about his sexuality
(abovementioned traits are non negotiable)

brushes his teeth 3x a day
takes a bath at least 2x aday
has clean, trimmed nails
and doesn't pick his nose in public.

can drive
can swim and knows CPR
has no pathological addictions
pays his taxes and has no criminal record
doesn't belong to a cult that considers women as 2nd class citizens
is healthy and with all limbs and organs intact
(no discrimination intended; it's just that i'm a very, very needy woman)

he must have a wild imagination, too.

if possible,
he is a good cook
a self made man
a deep thinker
a passionate writer
has good fashion sense
likes reggae and alternative music
can play at least one instrument and i don't mean his dumb stick
is not finicky with food (i enjoy durian and fried frog legs and cricket adobo)

would rub my feet at night before i go to sleep
is opinionated but not arrogant (i dislike men who say nothing or say too much)
has the strength and endurance to travel the world with me and carry my backpack for me throughout the journey
has infinite patience (especially if i'm running a loud commentary about the ills and woes of humanity while watching a soap opera on television)

and it would be a wonderful bonus if he
fulfills every promise he makes
is willing to grow old with a crazymadwomandiva like me
and give me a blank check every month without asking me when, where, why, with who, how i used it...

that's all.
is that too much to ask???