remember 50 first dates?

it would be nice to be loved by someone who would still be there for you even if he had to start every day by introducing himself and telling you how he came into your life.

Love Song by 311

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am home again

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am fun again

However far away, I will always love you
However long I stay, I will always love you
Whatever words I say, I will always love you
I will always love you

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am free again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am clean again

However far away, I will always love you
However long I stay, I will always love you
Whatever words I say, I will always love you
I will always love you

unsolicited advice

good advice is most effective if you actually follow it. i was skimming through my college yearbook and i picked up this message/advice from my big soul sister, Ms. Jean Lee, who is the moderator for our college paper. there's probably something for you in there, too.

let's see what i've accomplished so far:

1. "make a life, not just a living."
right now, i'm still struggling to keep a job i do not enjoy because i have almost zero savings for the past year. i'll get there somehow.

2. "when dealing with people, be honest and be kind."
i am too honest for my own good, i think. many people hate me for saying hurtful things even if they were true. just ask my siblings.
as for being kind, i don't like being too nice. i just hate it when people take advantage of me.

3. "follow your heart"
been there. done that. following your heart means being vulnerable to pain as well. it's worth it, probably, but it's a lesson you have to learn the hard way.

4. "it's not what other people say about you, it's what you say about yourself;
it's not what happens to you that counts, it's what you do about it that matters."
i'll say it again, I am bigger than the cirscumstances surrounding my life.

5. "there are always many sides to the truth and alternative solutions to a problem."
the best lesson i learned so far. never jump to consclusions. assume nothing.

6. "last but not least: God and you, together, are bigger than it all"
this last one i'm still trying to understand.

desperately seeking the perfect man

seriously, is he really out there?

i just watched the perfect man. it was this chick flick about a teenage daughter (hilary duff) and her single mom (heather locklear) who was desperately looking for the perfect man. apparently, according to this movie, the perfect man is just out there waiting to find me. hah.

this is the perfect man for me:

basics first,
he must must have an IQ above 115
is heterosexual and is not even minutely confused about his sexuality
(abovementioned traits are non negotiable)

brushes his teeth 3x a day
takes a bath at least 2x aday
has clean, trimmed nails
and doesn't pick his nose in public.

can drive
can swim and knows CPR
has no pathological addictions
pays his taxes and has no criminal record
doesn't belong to a cult that considers women as 2nd class citizens
is healthy and with all limbs and organs intact
(no discrimination intended; it's just that i'm a very, very needy woman)

he must have a wild imagination, too.

if possible,
he is a good cook
a self made man
a deep thinker
a passionate writer
has good fashion sense
likes reggae and alternative music
can play at least one instrument and i don't mean his dumb stick
is not finicky with food (i enjoy durian and fried frog legs and cricket adobo)

would rub my feet at night before i go to sleep
is opinionated but not arrogant (i dislike men who say nothing or say too much)
has the strength and endurance to travel the world with me and carry my backpack for me throughout the journey
has infinite patience (especially if i'm running a loud commentary about the ills and woes of humanity while watching a soap opera on television)

and it would be a wonderful bonus if he
fulfills every promise he makes
is willing to grow old with a crazymadwomandiva like me
and give me a blank check every month without asking me when, where, why, with who, how i used it...

that's all.
is that too much to ask???

inkblot from the past

note: the guy who moved me to write this reappeared in my life again a month ago.
just thought it would be nice to republish it.

wordplay

you look into my eyes as I sip my coffee
and argue about politics with you.
the world outside ceases to exist
the moment you hold my hand
and run your fingers down my arms.
all my senses awaken each time you smile at me;
even though I’m lashing out at you
for your twisted ideas and opinions;
you let me win the argument anyway.

we are kindred souls wandering in our own clandestine universe.
disagreeing yet understanding,
our minds coming together as one in a sensuous interplay of words.

no one touches me like you do.

~stelle ©2002